I know this entry may be as offensive to some as my “I Hate Halloween” post. I just can’t keep this little secret locked away any longer. Here it goes... I hate Costco! Please, let me explain…I hate the fact that you must be a “member” to enter this spectacular warehouse. However, being a regular ol’ member isn’t good enough. You are constantly (while trying to shop) asked to upgrade your membership to the “Executive”, so you can get a whopping 2% return on all your purchases. That’s not all! You can also enter the warehouse an hour early. Story: While I was pregnant with the twins, I needed to make a quick Costco run with Raych. It was a freezing cold day. Windy, spitting snow, grey and cloudy. I arrived at the Costco doors at 10:57. Because I was only a “Gold Star” member, I was not permitted to go in THREE minutes early. I had a tiny baby, and I was huge and pregnant. I was forced to stand outside in the inclement weather until the door master allowed me in. Ridiculous.
The samples. I know this is the reason most people go to Costco in the first place. I will admit, some of the samples are quite delicious. Apparently, taking a sample means shoppers are allowed to stand in the middle of the isle savoring the tasty morsel they just placed in their mouth. Costco is never “not busy”, so this usually means major congestion in the “hot spots”. Heaven forbid we walk and eat at the same time. Then you have the workers manning the sample tables. My Carson peeps, you know the “cat lady”? The lady who tries to entertain the masses with her spot on impersonation of a cat. Mewing and purring to all who pass by. I understand that some may find this cute, but I find it creepy. Please don’t meow at me with that sinister looking smile on your face. Then you have the “used car salesman” sample guys. “Step right up folks! Blueberry yogurt for ya here today. Take a sample! Take a sample! Try a sample! Delicious! In the case behind me for $6.44.” Then you have the crabby sample people who hate their job and the hairnet they have to wear while doing it. Story: I made the dire mistake of getting a little too “grabby” with the wrong table. I approach the table, and the lady says, “Hansen’s soda here for 12.97 a case.” I know what you’re thinking: used car salesman. NOPE! I grabbed two cups for my girls, and she replied, “Well, why don’t cha just go ahead and take ‘em?!” I looked back at her confused and said, “I’m sorry! I thought I could take them.” Apparently, she had a system that I was unaware of, and I rudely grabbed when I should have waited for permission to take.
I must say that checkout reminds me of being in a cattle stampede. Everyone is all rushing to get to the “shortest” line. Then when it’s finally your turn to checkout, the cashier is throwing and flinging your bread and bags of salad at lightening speed. I know they have to hustle, and I appreciate the fact they do. It just gives me anxiety standing there watching.
The super happy receipt-checker people (please note that sentence is laced with sarcasm). I know there are some who will draw a cute lil’ smiley face on your receipt, but I rarely get those workers. I seem to get the no smile, no “thanks for dropping $200 bucks here today!”, no “have a great day” employees. Just a fluorescent pink slash through my receipt.
Now, I must say I am accustomed to this behavior at my beloved Wal-Mart, but I just expect a more pleasant shopping experience from a place I have to pay to get in to. Alas, I will still keep my membership. I will still get “grabby” with the samples. I will still conform to the cattle stampede at checkout. But I don’t have to like it.
10 comments:
I really love that post! I totally agree with everything you say, but costco is definitely a necessary evil. Whereas Walmart is just plain evil and not so necessary :)
All I can say is.... AmEN SISter FrIenD :)
Totally agree. About a year ago I went to costco and arrived 3 minutes early. They made us stay out there for 3 minutes until it was exactly 11am. Soooooo STUPID that i have to wait 3 minutes.
You crack me up!! I remember you calling me that day you had to wait. Stupid Costco. But what kind of world would we live in if we couldn't buy TP or Tylenol in huge quantities?
Sorry to hear about your bad experiences at Costco. I love ours, but there are some who make the rounds for samples two and three times that urk me to no end.
HA HA HA! Nothing better than an "Ali Story." I agree with what Darcy said. You should print this post and send it to the Costco headquarters in Washington.
You are such a good writer!!! I am always so entertained by your blog. Keep them coming....ur the best.
For the most part, I love Costco. We are, however, kind of an anomaly there, as our total bill is usually under $40 and (other than buying contacts or glasses) I can count the times we've spent more than $100 in one trip on one hand. I have the best of both worlds with my membership. I am on a friend's business account, so I pay $40 a year and get in early, too. Her business was defunct years ago, but Costco said they don't care. Costco's samples are my husband's idea of a great Saturday activity, but I HATE being there on Saturday.
And as for the receipt-checkers: Allison bugs me to no end, as she *will* put a smiley face on the receipt when one of our kids hands her the receipt, but she gets all snippy with you when the kid doesn't say "Thank you" after she does that. Like the smiley is some big thankable thing on her part! Seriously?!
Oh, also, I am totally surprised about them being so hard-nosed about the "opening time," because for the members that can get in an hour early, you can actually get in about a half-hour before they "open" and no one bats an eye that you're checking out 15 minutes before they "open." It took me a while before I figured out how in the world there were people walking out with flatbed cartloads of stuff 5 minutes after the store supposedly opened.
Hahahahaha! Love this!
PS, Amanda, who uses Tylenol!? :]
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