Beautiful, perfect, miraculous Raychel
Ten years ago. My mom bought Raychel this darling Santa outfit. Worth every penny!
Tonight Raychel had her first (of many) band concerts. We arrived early and planted ourselves on the front row. The fluorescent lights were quietly buzzing and the cafeteria had the faint smell of leftover tator-tots. The band teacher announces the first number and they commence playing "Hot Cross Buns." The clarinets are squeaking. The saxophones are honking. The flutes are just...there. I suddenly feel this strange sensation. My chin starts quivering. My eyes fill with salty little tears. Oh. My. Gosh. Am I literally crying right now during "Hot Cross Buns"?? What is the matter with me?
I felt extra emotional tonight for some reason. I've been sick with strep throat, so maybe it's been the lack of decent sleep. I know the real reason, though. It's how I feel gratitude. I wonder if the Lord ever tires of my endless expressions of gratitude about my girls. I love being a mother...a mother to my girls. How did He know I needed these spirits for myself?
I love Christmas. It makes me feel so enlightened because it gives me a chance to reflect on the miracles and goodness in the world. Raychel was technically supposed to be born around December 21 (that was her due date). I remember sitting in the NICU ten years ago at this time totally bawling because I knew she wasn't going to be well enough to come home by Christmas. I wanted that Christmas miracle. (I will add that I was terribly impatient, and I know the Lord tired of my endless begging and pleading-ha!) That wasn't in the Lord's plan, however. He, being all knowing, saw my life ten years down the road. He saw me sitting in the front row of the Mark Twain cafeteria smelling old tator-tots and sitting on a hard chair.. He saved that Christmas miracle for me to savor tonight. I am always humbled and truly grateful for that little nudge I feel (so often) in my heart. It's like He's saying, "I told you it would all be worth it."
"...Behold God has not ceased to be a God of miracles."
Mormon 9:15
I'm so thankful to Him for preserving Raychel's life, so I could participate and learn and feel a true miracle.
7 comments:
Well said my friend...she is extraordinarily beautiful
Simply beautiful..
My heart was so full tonight also. Heavenly Father has truly blessed our family. Mom
What a beautiful post. There are some times when I too am overcome with the realization that "this" is what I was praying and waiting for. I am so glad we get to experience those times to have as reminders when we are not feeling the love.
Well, I wept right after I put on my mascara. My heart is full - thanks for reminding me.
What lovely thoughts. Thank you. And that picture is Raychel is absolutely GORGEOUS!!!
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