Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Mean Mom


I try to be a good Mom.  It is the most sincere desire of my heart to love my daughters and help them develop into strong, independent women who contribute to society in a positive way.  I want to be compassionate toward their frustrations, and have them know they are always loved and validated.  That being said…I fail miserably at my overall goal some days.  There are few things in this world that irritate me more than whining/complaining children…MY whining/complaining children.  Nothing seems to make my blood boil quite like that irritating, high pitched, “Oh woe is me” kid voice.  As I mentioned earlier, I try to be a good Mom.  Part of being a “good” Mom (in my opinion) is going on memorable summer outings…Lake Tahoe, Wild Island, Children’s Museums, etc.  Any rational person would assume that eight hours at a beach/water park/museum, would be an adequate amount of time to have fun.  Not for my kids.  When the call comes to pack up and leave, they turn on “that voice”.  Then I turn into a condescending, sarcastic witch.  “Oh, I’m so sorry you didn’t have enough fun!  Why don’t you cry about it?”  That method rarely works when trying to cease the complaints.

The child then brings out phase two.  I’m hoping most Moms know what is coming next…the famous stomping coupled with “voice”.  The “voice” bounces along in rhythm with the thrusting body movements and constant “but…but…but…but MOOOOOOM!"  Then comes my next strategical move: the arm grab and “vapor ear”. 

(Vapor ear is a term my sisters and I coined when we were young.  It was introduced during church by my Mom and usually given during some poking fest between my sisters and me.  The one administering the vapor ear grabs the arm of the accused, and issues a very threatening consequence to the behavior in the ear of the child.  The voice is a seething whisper causing the ear to feel as though it has been burned with vapor.)

The vapor ear threat usually goes along the lines of, “If you keep acting like this we will NEVER do anything fun again.  I mean it!”  Compassionate to their frustrations?  Not gonna happen today!  Validation?  Nope.  Don’t really care you’re bitter.  Making memories?  Sure, threatening vapor ear memories…those are the ones you want in the scrapbook.  I guess I could go out on a limb and say they are certainly developing into “strong (willed) women”.  Wink, wink. 

Phase three is, for me, always guilt.  I feel guilty I am SO easily bugged by the complaining.  They are only little girls, after all.  I feel guilty that I just squashed any positivity that came out of the day.  It’s always so refreshing (not) to look over and see someone staring at me the entire time this event was taking place.  Never do these people look sympathetic.  They’re looking at you like, “Wow.  You’re scaring me, and I’m 15 feet away.”  I wonder what they would do if I waved and took a bow? 

I just hope the Lord knows the most sincere desire of my heart…I really do want to be a good Mom even though it never seems to show during our outings.                   

 The gang, anxiously awaiting entry to the park.
 Life is ruff.
 Raychel always looks like this for the second half of the day.  It's a "cozy" 96 degrees, and Raych is chattering with blue lips. I typically have beads of sweat running down my back during these pictures.  James always jokes that Raychel will be our kid who lives in Phoenix that we never visit.  HAHAHA!  James and I hate the heat!

 This picture CRACKED me up!  This is Leah giving a demo of the face she made while going down all the slides.  Her "heart was 'beeping' SO fast!"

4 comments:

T, A, H1, H2, H3 said...

im glad im not the only one who is impatient with my even younger than yours children and most definitely the whining and complaining! i too want to be a good mom, and props to you, im sure you are suceeding more than me!

Strollerblader said...

That picture of Leah is awesome!!

You can show it to her to prove what a fun day she had and what a fun mom you are!

Coulam Crew said...

You are such an awesome mom! I wish I was more like you with all the fun things you do. When the girls look back, they will remember the fun you had. That will out weigh the few minutes of frustration from you. At least, thats what I tell myself about my kids. HAHA! And I'm totally laughing about vapor ear! I'm so guilty of that one.

Amy said...

Just to clarify, you have NO IDEA what is being said during vapor ear--just muffled, angry, vapor-y words.

I'm glad that the girls will grow up to be well adjusted--having a mom (or dad) that does that makes them into normal adults. I mean, just look at us!

p.s. that picture of Leah--CLASSIC

p.p.s. Amanda, you had vapor ear mastered by the time I was like, 5. ;)