The song remembers when...

This is how Raychel felt about her time in the NICU :-)

(No, we did not pose her like that)

Always the best dressed baby in the joint!

A little Christmas angel

Isn't it amazing how hearing a familiar song can stir up so many emotions? Friday James and I were lucky enough to get on on a date. As we were driving home, this Green Day song came on the radio. Here's the story behind the song...

As most of you know, Raychel was born in September. James celebrated his birthday August 31, and I bought this CD as a gift for him. My poor James was so overwhelmed at Raychel's birth. Not only did he have the weight of a sick wife and fragile baby on his shoulders, but he also had an enormous work load AND school to finish. Thank goodness he is a "tuff" individual! Anyway, one night as we were driving home from the hospital, he played this song for me. He said "this is just how I feel right now...wake me up when September ends." So everytime we hear this song, we think of Raychel, September, sober times. I remembered hearing the lyrics "ring out the bells again; like we did when spring began." I found out I was pregnant with Raychel in April, the beginning of spring time. We were all so excited and so happy at that time. September took away all of my dreams of my "ideal" birthing experience. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared or worried. Mortality became very real to me at this time. This sounds a little depressing, I know. Like I said earlier, it was a sober time.

It was a time of being a special witness of so many miracles. So many tender mercies of the Lord were given to me as well. I read a talk recently from Elder Robert D. Hales it was about personal revelation (from conference October 2007). He says this “…Generally, those miracles will not be physical demonstrations of God’s power- parting of the red sea, raising of the dead, breaking down prison walls, or the appearance of heavenly messengers. By design most miracles are spiritual demonstrations of God’s power- tender mercies bestowed through impressions, ideas, feelings of assurance, solutions to problems, strength to meet challenges, and comfort to bear disappointments and sorrow.” I just loved that! So many times I wanted the “physical miracles” of Raychel to be pulled of the vent, gain weight, and have perfect lungs right now. The Lord didn’t let me have what I thought would be ideal. Instead He did just as Elder Hales said, I experienced many “spiritual miracles” in my life. Miracles that would have never come had Raychel been born the “normal” way.

I am so grateful for September 2004. I am so grateful for my miracle Raychel! I feel like I learned a lifetime in those 104 days spent in the NICU. Finally, I am grateful to the Lord for trusting me with one of His sweetest spirits.